This is SO FREAKING HARD!

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Seriously. This is hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. And I’ve done some pretty difficult things. My mother-in-law lived with us for 8 years.  She was awesome, but still, it was not easy. We have 3 children ranging in age from 6 to 12. The oldest–our only girl–will be 13 next month. Pray for us. Raising them? It’s ain’t easy. But sticking to a meal plan when you are addicted to food? O. M. G. It’s a struggle on the simplest of days.

Today? Not a simple day. Friday’s always start with a departmental meeting. And donuts. The meeting is comprised of approximately 30 people, most of them eating donuts. But it’s not a very long meeting, I made it through ok.

Then there was lunch. We had a baby shower for a co-worker. Lunch was provided. That’s always a scary proposition. I decided to go check it out–if there was nothing suitable I’d leave early and grab something from the cafeteria. I got lucky, though. Along with some things I couldn’t have, they had a beautiful salad and some shrimp ceviche. So lunch was great! It all tasted amazing, the conversation was nice, I was really enjoying myself.

And then the cake was cut. Actually cakes, plural. One was a chocolate cake that was made by our chef. I could smell it from across the room.

I swear to you, time stood still. A work buddy of mine is on this journey with me, and he had sat with me during the lunch. I could see him struggling as well. I stared at my hands. I tried to ignore that the conversation at the table had turned to how good the cake was. I watched some construction workers outside of the building. I checked email on my phone. Eventually I stood up and went to the kitchen to make some tea, and brought it back to the table with me. It helped a bit. I was relieved when the mom-to-be finally started opening her gifts.

I made it through, but it was really tough. Even walking back to my office afterwards I was still fighting off the food addict demon. It was like living a nightmare.

By the end of the work day I was ready to kill it at bootcamp. Friday’s are always “Friday Fitness Challenge” days. Today was 100 burpees, 100 TRX rows, 100 step ups, 100 bootcamp crunches and 100 pushups, all for time. I thought if I was lucky I’d finish in 38 minutes. My actual time was 29 minutes and 47 seconds. It was an amazing feeling.

So…one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, and I CAN do this. Put like that it sounds so easy. If only it was…