One is the Hungriest Number

Follow

Yesterday I wrote about peer pressure. Today I want to talk about the scary things that happen to a food addict when they are alone.

Standing in line at the grocery store, you are surrounded. In front of you and behind you, more miserable people like yourself that just want to complete their purchases and go home. To your left, magazine covers with photos of super models and promises to help you lose 20 lbs by next Tuesday. To your right, oh, to your right…every kind of chocolate bar you can imagine. My favorite is Reese’s peanut butter cups, and there’s like 4 different varieties of those. As I stand there, they call to me. And there’s no one around to hold me accountable.

Or it’s late at night. You’re on your way home from a late night at the office or some other function. The family is at home and has already eaten. There are numerous fast food restaurants between you and home. You really should just go straight home, if you planned correctly you already ate wherever you’re coming from. But maybe you didn’t, and now you’re in your car, hungry, again with no one to hold you accountable.

This one is the worst for me. You’re at home alone. The kids are at school, your spouse is at work. You certainly didn’t plan for meals in this situation. It’s just you, the television and a box of the kids’ pop tarts staring you down.

These are the situations where I find it the hardest to control the food addict inside. These are the times when I never remember squeezing into chairs I don’t quite fit in or asking for a seat belt extender on an airplane. All I can remember is how good that candy will taste.

If I give in, 5 minutes later I’m already regretting it. I know that it was wrong. I know I’ve probably undone at least one entire day’s worth of weight loss. I know that I’ve let the food addict win. And it kills me. Emotionally and physically, it kills me.

But this time things are different. This time I am committed. Because of that, these situations seem easier to get through than they have been in the past. I’m still tempted. REALLY tempted. But deep down inside there’s a voice telling me it’s just not worth it. Funny thing is, I think the voice has always been there. The difference now? I can finally hear it.